a tree bare of leaves...

9:55am
Today I am working from home, and I am profoundly sad.

We lost Skeeta at about 1:20am Sunday morning.  I have no energy, and no desire to retell the story.  I will probably cross-post the notes and posts from facebook.  Why reinvent the wheel?

I have arranged for her to be cremated, and the ashes returned to us.  How I wish we had done that for Rani...  but you can't go back, I'm afraid.

I am drained, and I feel as though I may be coming down with something.

In terms of my attempts to keep an eye on myself, I haven't been doing too badly, but still not prepared to weigh myself.  However, I haven't eaten badly, as such.  I kind of care, but mostly don't.  I've done two checklists this morning, so that is something.

I am so incredibly flat.  I've spent about $1600, and I no longer have Skeeta.  Doesn't seem a fair exchange, does it?  Linda, Sarah and Phillip all want Zac to come home now.  But I'm not quite sold...  having said that, I expect to lose that one.  We'll probably bring him home when I see Mum for Mother's Day this weekend.

That's enough for now.  I'm going to close out this checklist and do another.

11:30am
I've done four checklists this morning - 2.25hrs worth, plus 0.25hrs internal calls, 0.25hrs external calls, and
0.75 worth of responding to emails.  3.5 hrs work so far today is pretty good.

And I've finalised the Skeeta details, I just feel so flat.  I've done the washing.  Two loads washed and dried.  so that's good.  I just don't have Skeeta.  I can't imagine the time when this will stop hurting.  the dogs won't go in the dog bed.  I think I have to wash it, to take away the sick Skeeta smell...

More checklists.

2pm
I've now done 5 checklists, and one of them was messy.  That last one took 1.25 hrs, then I had 0.5hrs of calls, and 0.5 of emails.  I also got skeeta's last blood results.  I'm a bit annoyed with gribbles - it was flagged urgent, and the vet called them, but it wasn't run until after 10pm, and they didn't report until nearly 8am.  I thought about complaining to them, but it wouldn't have made a difference to the outcome.  I may have considered more radical action earlier, but I can't be sure that I really would have.  In the end, I don't think it would have changed anything.  I'm going to forward the report to Kris tomorrow, for his records.

5:00pm
I only did one more checklist, hang on... no I did two more, and then I did a change of scope for Nicole.  And now it's time to do the job application for the Sector Manager... Am I overreaching?  WTF, just do it.