Autumn leaves

Autumn leaves fall when the joy of summer is over, and harshness of winter is coming.  The tree must divest itself of unnecessary burdens to survive the silence and isolation of the time to come.

And so it is with me now.  I need to take care of myself - my health is suffering because I cannot control my eating, and under stress I just eat more, so I am spending money outsourcing my self-discipline and food choices.  I am using the Lite'n'easy program 5 days per week (M-F) until I've lost at least 10kg.  I hate myself like this, and I just have to cut the illusion of being able to do it.  My illusory leaves must go.

Strange, it should be no harder to follow a sensible diet if I choose food and eat it, than if someone boxes it up and gives it to me - I still have to choose not to eat other food, not to snack and so on.  And yet, it is easier.  I think it's because I don't have to put energy into the preparation and choice stuff that I have energy available for the declining extras.  This is a good time not to think about food - Nan's funeral on Wednesday, still getting used to the loss of Skeeta, about to start cross-training in MI, applied for a sector manager role, and coming to the DIAS 30 June deadline was looking like I would cross the 90kg mark...  Not now though!

And sleep.  I know full well that I can cope with pretty much anything if I sleep well... so now there is a limit.  I put my iPhone sleep app to go off at 8hrs (it will go off anything between 7.5 and 8)